Nevertheless, it’s all right. As long as I can struggle to see what makes me weak within, I can strengthen it. Not all is lost just because I fell in love. But oh my goodness, what a struggle it is. Every day I wake up and get to my work, and as soon as the thought of that one comes to mind, I suddenly just find myself all fucked up. I can’t read, because it takes focus. I can’t seem to do much else either, because it takes energy. I can’t sleep either, because I just woke up. And even if I did lay down, it would be a waste of time. So I have to struggle somehow to get a control over that structure within me which makes me to apparently fall apart, and not be in control? Yea. One has to be in control of their life. One cannot allow anything to affect them so strongly that they don’t have any say in the situation. And I can’t deny that I have fallen in love, with someone who most likely doesn’t even know that I have. It’s my problem, no one elses. Oh to just find a strength within me to overcome this weakness. I’ll just keep working on it. I’ll make it through. I’ll be stronger for it. I have to! I must. There is no other way.
Blissly Blithe 